A Day In The Life…
I’m a big, big fan of Kresley Cole’s Immortals After Dark series. One might even say a ‘slobbering fan’. Cole is my favorite author and has been since I read A HUNGER LIKE NO OTHER. And she has a new book coming out on October 13th! Woot!
(Just look at that…belt buckle. Mmmm, oversized belt buckle.)
So as I daydream and wait for my copy to show up at Barnes & Noble, I think about the story. And the valkyrie heroines. The valkyries are such strong, fun characters that one cannot help but imagine what life must be like as a battle-and-shopping-hungry fey badass, living with the rest of the valkyrie in Val Hall.
(You know where I’m going with this, right?)
A Day In The Life of an IMMORTALS AFTER DARK Valkyrie:
10 AM – Wake up. Glare at alarm clock. Cleave it with sword. Go back to bed.
1 PM – Really wake up. Honest. Stagger into shower, only to find that Regin the Radiant has used all the conditioner. Again. Bitch. Put Nair in her shampoo bottle.
1:30 PM – Go to get dressed. Pick out accessories for the day and spend 3 hours entranced, staring at shiny things in jewelry box. Am broken from trance when now-bald Regin tackles me in anger over shampoo prank.
4:30 PM – Check email. The witches have sent me a virus. Har har, so funny. Email Holly Ashwin and ask her to create a script that will cause David Hasslehoff’s greatest hits to be played on every witch’s computer every time they open a program.
4:31 PM – Holly declines. Even she is not that cruel.
4:32 PM – I threaten to touch the lids of Holly’s water bottles. Holly agrees, muttering about my cruelty.
4:37 PM – The witches call, pissed. This means war. Nix is ecstatic.
5:00 PM – Rally the troops. We agree that in order to meet the witches on equal territory, new clothes are needed. And jewelry. Agree to a mall excursion and mani-pedi field-trip.
9:15 PM – Meet at our favorite bar for war against the witches.
9:25 PM – After some name-calling and trash-talking, it is determined that the war will be decided by a game of Quarters. Some idiot invites a Lykae to be the judge. Pfft.
9:30 PM – Lykae shows up, wearing no shirt. Mmm, shirtless Lykae. Begin to see merits of male judge.
9:35 PM – Lykae tries to claim Daniela. Idiot. Quarters is temporarily called off as bar fight ensues.
9:49 PM – We win. Not a surprise. Nix also predicts we will win at Quarters, too.
9:53 PM – Mariketa the Awaited casts a spell to find a new judge for us. While we wait, Regin licks the backs of the quarters and sticks them to Daniela’s freezing skin.
9:54 PM – Daniela kicks Regin’s ass.
9:59 PM – Mariketa’s spell summons a vampire. Forbearer. Not shirtless. Am a bit sad.
1:00 AM – We win at Quarters! Witches declare vengeance. I make mental note to update my Anti-virus software.
1:01 AM – Forbearer challenges us to a drinking contest. Silly man. How can we refuse the opportunity to humiliate him?
2:00 AM – Still drinking with vampires.
2:05 AM – Vampire senses he is losing and pulls out a Rolex watch. Still enough bling-bling to entrance a bunch of drunk valkyries.
7:49 AM – Wake up on lawn of Val Hall. Pockets empty. Yard smells of ozone from lightning. Slightly hung over. Have vampire’s phone number, though.
7:50 AM – Consider evening a success. Decide to call Holly Ashwin to see if she can upload the script to the Lykae Clan’s computers as well.
THE END.
The witches call, pissed. This means war. Nix is ecstatic.- this was my favorite. LOL. Ah that naughty Nix!
I love Nix! Though I think Regin is my favorite. Her immaturity appeals to me.
I think i may have to read this series
lol
You can read the first book for free, you know! The novella ‘The Warlord Wants Forever’ is available online for free.
http://g-ecx.images-amazon.com/images/G/01/books/SS.EMS/KresleyColeNovellaGiveaway.pdf
ooooooooo freeeeee!
lol
I think free might be my fave word
Thank you Jill
Wow, this sounds so fun, I think I have my next series lined up. How many are there in the series?
So far (including the novella) there are 7. A new one comes out in October, and one in February.
Not that I am waiting impatiently or anything…
Also wanted to say that the books all stand alone 100%, so you can pick up any of them and start reading — or the free novella that I mentioned above!
This is currently my next big read on my to-do list. So while this was fun, I’m sure this will be down right freaking hilarious when I know what is going on.
Must come back later to read and snicker at all the hilarity.
You must! Read fast!
OK, finally read enough of the books and/or excerpts to think that this WAS totally freaking hilarious. GOOD JOB!!!
BTW- I really like the series and yet again I’m left waiting for another book to be released *sigh*.
This just makes me die laughing. So perfect.
God, I love this series.
Me too!
Loved it! LOL. This is one of my favorite series too and you hafta love Nix. I mean really, those demons DO have lickable horns.
This was my favorite:
While we wait, Regin licks the backs of the quarters and sticks them to Daniela’s freezing skin.
Tee-hee!
Nix is such an awesome character, isn’t she? I can’t wait for her book!
Ahahah!!!
What a great way to start my day. Now I’m addicted to this blog as well as IAD. Mmm…demons, lycae and vampires, OH MY!
More please. Go!
I’m really excited because the October book is both Lykae AND Valkyrie. Double win!
Everyone should read Immortals After Dark. Is fabuloso.
Loved this. Only thing that would make it better is someone playing w/ demon horns.
Indeed! I should have added Demon Horn fondling.
This was so pitch perfect. Like Danica, the licking of the quarters by Regan was my fave line.
Will there be more episodes?
I think so! Or maybe I should play with different series.
That nair thing is really evil….
I figure if anyone can afford a wig, it’s a bling-loving valkyrie.
How cooooool! I’m a very big fan of Gena Showalter whose one of the best pals of Kresley Cole and constantly mentiones her, but so far I’ve never come around to read Kresley’s books although from time to time I think about finally starting them. If you’ve read the lates Lords of the Underworld-novel, The Darkest Whisper, you know that here the two series mend (for example *SPOILER* Nix appears and one of the Lords gets reeeeal hot for her!), so I’ll have to read Cole after all!
DARKEST WHISPER is in my TBR pile but clearly it needs to be bumped up!
I’ve never read this series but it sounds like I will have to start soon.
Good thing I love series.
You should! It’s a great series and super easy to get into.
See the link in the comments above for the free novella if you want to get a ‘taste’ ahead of time.
Dammit, I just spit Dr. Pepper all over my laptop. Jill, that was HILARIOUS! Favorite line? “Wake up on lawn of Val Hall. Pockets empty. Yard smells of ozone from lightning. Slightly hung over. Have vampire’s phone number, though.” LOLOL
Nix is my favorite, hands down. If the Lord in Darkest Whisper ends up with her, that’d be awesome, but I have no idea how Gena and Kresley will make it work.
I love the IAD series. Can’t wait for more of them.
Me too! And it would be genius to do a crossover between the two series, wouldn’t it? I know I’d buy it.
O M G! That was hilarious! You made my day. I love, love, love those books and your take was spot on. I’m crying and holding my stomach thinking about the Nair.
**ooh – ooh – deep breaths – must concentrate to type**
Any chance we can pull Kresley into this insanity – I mean – into your Odd Shots gang?
Nice job!
Oh, I’m pretty sure we scare Kresley too much for her to join us…
LOL! Even with no point of reference (I haven’t read this series), THIS is hilarious! Great job, Jill!
Thank you! I think it is but a simple homage to how awesome Kresley’s books are.
LMAO! I have to remember the David Hasselhoff threat.
All of his German Greatest Hits…shudder.
That was quite possibly the funniest thing I’ve read all day.
Oh. My. God. HILARIOUS! I got tears from laughing. Thanks, laughing is awesome.
THIS IS HILARIOUS! Were you talking about a specific valkyrie? I love Nix too and I hope she does get together with a certain Lord, but I don’t know how they will make that work!
Very funny bit, you should keep posting!
Not a specific valkyrie. Let’s make up a name. Hilda is a good one! Sounds very Scandinavian. Not so much fey, though.
Funniest post EVER! Big fan of the Valkyrie here, especially Nucking Futs Nix. Makes me want to back and have re-read of the series. I’m still laughing!
You should reread! I think I will do the same this weekend.
This is ROTFLOL belly aching funny. Would like to see you do Nalini’s Psy Changeling, and Gena’s Lords. Or even a collison of worlds.
Hmmm…tempting! It is on my radar for sure.
[...] Jill Myles posted a Day in the Life of a Kresley Cole Valkryie: 9:25 PM – After some name-calling and trash-talking, it is determined [...]
I love the Immortals series. Always fun to re-read.
Read novella. Am now addicted. Must buy series.
Sigh.