Meljean Sue
Meljean Sue
Ah, Mary Sue. We all know one. She’s the girl with amethyst eyes, the twee name, the startling power that no one else has but everyone wants. She’s the girl that the bad boy falls in love with, that the villain falls in love with, that the other girls hate until Mary Sue is soooo kind to them.
And when Mary Sue sacrifices herself at the end to save the world, everyone cries.
Mary Sue started out in Star Trek fanfic. When she first showed up, Mary Sue was all about author self-insertion and wish fulfillment. Nowadays, the term has come to mean something a little different – Mary Sue is the heroine who is too perfect to be true – but the general idea is the same: she doesn’t have any flaws. And despite the love the other characters feel for Mary Sue, she pretty much only inspires one emotion in her readers: overwhelming hatred.
Now, I am not one of those readers who has ever imagined herself in the heroine’s place. Nor am I the type of writer to put myself in my books, because – let’s face it – not only is my real life incredibly boring, I’m a dork on top of it. Nobody wants to read about me, but more importantly, I wouldn’t want to read (or write) about me. That would be the fastest trip to the nearest high cliff followed by a dive that I could imagine.
But there is one little thing…
Here is where I go on a tangent:
I don’t have a Wal-mart nearby. I live in one of those areas that didn’t let Wal-mart come in, because everyone around here hates Low Prices Everyday and Smiley Faces and Senior Citizens Greeting You at the Door. There is a Target, where I get most of my LOL Vintage t-shirts and household stuff cheaper than I can at the local grocery, but it’s still not as inexpensive as Wal-mart (and when you are a writer, inexpensive = a big huge w00t! (okay, I guess if you are anybody, inexpensive = big huge w00t!))
Where was I?
Oh, yes – Wal-Mart, and my tragic lack of one. Except, of course, when I go back to the ol’ homestead to visit the folks, because in that little town, the Wal-Mart is right square in the middle of everything. And every time before I go, I always ask my husband: “Do you want me to pick up anything from Wal-Mart?” and he grunts a few things and then I write down my list, and off I go (without him, of course, because he’s afeard of the little town. Pfft. City boys. But he’s really pretty and smart, you know, so what can I do?)
Anyway. So there I am, being greeted, and the first thing I always see is the women’s clothing. And you guys, I know better. It’s not that it’s from Wal-Mart … but that every time I go anywhere that sells clothes, and the chances of me using the changing room are small, I always walk out with the effing UGLIEST thing on the racks.
Meljean + Ugly Clothes – Chances of Using Dressing Room = She’s Going to Look Like Someone Took a Dump on Her, Smoothed Out the Crap, and Upholstered Her in the Ugliest Fabric and Color Known to Man
Meljean Sue's Horsey. Also, the best reason to have a Yahoo account nowadays is creating these avatars.
I swear to god. It’s like I’m a fugly magnet. I see something on the rack and in my heart I know it’s ugly, for god’s sake, but I get it anyway because some part of me thinks: It can’t really be that bad. No, it’ll be the ugly duckling on the hanger and the swan on my body. It’s not that fugly.
But it is. It ALWAYS is. And so I have this collection of shirts in my closet that are like a collection of shattered Wal-mart dreams: I will take you home. You will look great, and so will I. We will frolic in style together, and Clinton will smile at us while Stacy will say, “Shut. Up!”
Sigh.
And so here’s where I go totally Mary Sue. Where wish fulfillment enters my books with purple ponies and daisy chains: There isn’t a freaking thing in my heroines’ closets that they don’t look great in. Sure, everyone around them might question their fashion taste*, but by god, if they picked up an ugly shirt from Wal-Mart, they would rock it.
(And their hair always looks pretty damn good, too**.)
So, if you are a writer or if you did write, what’s the one thing you think you’d pull a Mary Sue on?
*I can post examples if you want them.
**I have a signing tonight, for which I just got my hair done, because my hair really needed it. If you’re in Portland, Oregon, and you can make it to the Beaverton Powell’s around 7pm, do come up and say Hi. And you can make fun of whatever shirt I’m wearing, because it’ll probably be bad. (Details here, on the 18th.)
Oh blast, I thought you were going to give away that Horsey t-shirt to one lucky commenter. It would improve my closet by several percentage points.
Now that you’ve made me contemplate, I realize my heroines never run out of chocolate. Demons can leap out at them at all hours, heroes go all morose on them, end of days come screaming in, but when my heroines need a pick me up, their snack cabinet is always stocked with primo dark chocolate. Shuh, right. As if saving the world leaves you time to run to Trader Joe’s.
I’ll be at the signing tonight to point and laugh as needed.
I was just at Powell’s, Jessa — and I saw your awesome little booklets! I’m in total promo envy mode right now, and I’m going to pump you so hard for info about making those.
To everyone: Jessa has her debut Urban Fantasy coming out in October: SEDUCED BY SHADOWS. You can totally pick it up the same day you grab DEMON FORGED :-p
Mary Sue has another name: Wesley Crusher.
Ben, OMG — I loved Wesley Crusher with all of my pre-teen heart. He was a geek, and SO cute!
Now, of course, I can see that his character wasn’t, ahem, the most well-written. But when I was 10? Bah. Just give me that hunka hunka burning love in that gray jumpsuit and call me happy.
Meljean, I am so with you on the clothes issue [I must have that same fugly magnet *sigh*] that’s where my characters go all Mary Sue too
Oh god, I feel for you. And I think it’s probably a pretty harmless way to get out wish fulfillment, if there is any in a book — it’s not like screwing around with a character’s character. It’s a pretty benign little thing.
Mine have great hair. I don’t care how big/tall/wide/varying everything else is, but the connection is that they all have AWESOME Pantene-style hair.
It’s my own personal thing, I think. Comes from having the crappiest hair ever.
Dude, you KNOW I feel that. And you know the first thing I thought when I saw Demon Angel’s cover?
OMG, she has such pretty, pretty hair. w00t!
Yes! And she looks like she can fart glitter, but HAIR PRETTY!
(That’s all that matters, really. I know when I got my covers, the first thing I scrutinized was the hair.)
Mine seem to have great hair too…or at least, hair they never complain about. Also, they manage to find a bottle of wine where ever they are.
Now, THAT’s a handy little skill to have. It might even be a Mary Sue superpower. Or, holy crap — a Jesus superpower. Water -> wine and all that O_o
(Oh, god, I’m going to hell.)
Why yes, yes you are!
I like Mary Sues that cry prettily. :::nods::: And even when they are “throwing something on” to rush out… they’re perfectly coordinated.
Have you also noticed that most Mary Sues run perfectly in four inch stilettos… She KNEW those ballet classes would come in handy ONE DAY.
AND THEY NEVER HAVE TO WEAR MAKEUP. And if they do, all they need is a swipe of gloss and a touch of mascara.
God, I hate Mary Sues.
I gotta say, having run in 4-6 in. heels and .5-1 in. heels, the 4-6′s are much easier. Low heels always just throw me off balance whereas high heels are like running on your toes.
My Mary Sues all love stir fry and hate jazz and/or blues music. No matter how hard I try to shake things up and give my characters likes that run counter to my own, I always shudder and my fingers just can’t type the words “had a great time hanging at the blues/jazz club last night”. They may be thirty pounds thinner than me, five inches taller, have amazing hair, drop dead figures and eyes that defy color description – all non-me traits – but dang it, they like the food and music I like!
Oh, you know — I didn’t think about it, but that’s another thing: food. It’s not that I think YOU ARE GOING TO LIKE WHAT I LIKE, it’s more of a: What sounds really freaking good right now? (I often write when I’m hungry.)
But I have had heroines with different eating habits than mine. One, a vegetarian. Another who really loves sushi (I don’t mind it, but it’s not my favorite.) A couple who drink blood (blech) and then there’s the one who rips out a bite of the heart from every animal she hunts, and I just haven’t ever developed a taste for organs. So, I guess I don’t really Mary Sue the food, sigh.
My heroines have great hair, too. Well, if not great hair, then at least hair they can manage. I, on the other hand, can’t even have my hair open (don’t know if that’s the correct English term, just the literal translation; like, they wear it loose).
I used to have wonderful curls as a child but they eventually grew out (that might have to do with the fact that somehow I thought at the age of eight that I had to cut my hair chin-lenght, when before I’ve had it to the waist).
Now, I’ve got the strangest strawy, heavy, no-contours-at-all hair that I can’t even wear in a ponytail. And that’s a shame because I’ve got the most beautiful haircolour, a real red (darker than reddish-blond but lighter than dark-red). I hate that.
Oh, Meljean, Meljean Sue and Meljean Horsey (*g*) look great, btw. I love them!
I have this thin, stringy-if-it-gets-too-long, limp pile of crud on top of my head. I HATE IT. But, yeah, the color isn’t too bad (even if I do change it now and then.)
My heroines all have great hair, but I did have one who dyed it blond (and her roots were showing), which was fun. They can have great hair that’s not perfect, and then I feel a little less like a tool when I’m writing them
well, at least i am not alone in that small world… the few heroines i have written about are a lot thinner than me, have almost the same height, are much better good-looking and bahve like i would like to but never come around to be like….
they also like soft and classic rock more than their female friends…. they do have some of the traits i have… but i usually try to not to have them whining, (You wouldn’t believe how much i hate whining heroines… I might be whining -a lot – but I try not to write or read about it…)
also, i do not think I describe their hair too much, and sure they do have some crappy hair days… but, that is why a ponytail is so handy at times… isn’t it?
and I’ll stop here…
thanks for reading my blabbering…
PS Oh I do love those avatars on Yahoo…. last i checked i had about 5 saved….
oh! and I almost forgot…. the heros do tend to have some… neatherdal(spel?) protective streaks against competition….
It’s “neandertal”. And doesn’t that remind us all of a book by some author we all know (coughMeljeancough) called Caveman Moon? *grin*
LOL!
The irony still cracks me up. Here’s Colin, talking about Lilith (from Demon Angel) and her penchant for wearing corsets:
Lilith swept into the corridor; he trailed after her, waited until Jeeves had verified her identity before remarking, “You’re a bitch, Agent Milton.”
“You love me.” She shrugged out of her jacket, revealing her black leather corset. He grimaced, and her eyes narrowed. “What?”
“The trousers are fine, but the top is horrid. I’ll order you something less—” He searched for the right word. It wasn’t tacky…exactly. She carried it better than any other woman possibly could, but it was still intolerable. “—hackneyed. Though just as striking.” Giving demons and vampires a particular image proved useful to her, but it didn’t have to be so uninspired.
“Will you pay for it? Your tastes are more expensive than mine.”
“No. Don’t be absurd.” He turned away from her to stare into the wall panel; after a moment, Jeeves nodded at them. “Castleford can afford it.”
“He likes this.”
“For the whole of the two hundred years I knew him as a Guardian, he wore the most revolting brown robe I’ve ever seen. His likes and dislikes are hardly worth consideration. He’d probably think it smashing if you wore a nun’s habit.”
She grinned at him, as if pleased by the idea—or she was considering dressing as a nun for Castleford.
…So, there’s my caveman, lol.
*Strikes again* (I always wanted to say that)
One more reason to get those books… from a corset wearer to nun-robed now that must be funny reading….
ps love that caveman….
My warped mind saw the picture and it looked like Mary Sue was holding someone’s heart in her hands and blood was dripping down her chest.
O.o
*got to stop reading the vampire fiction*
ooh, ooh – me too. I didn’t notice that it wasn’t until I read your post. Figured it made sense with Meljean
(well, I did – that wasn’t a crack – I just like her, um, “unique” sense of humor)
Oh, it totally is! In fact, the Yahoo version is animated, and the heart is still beating — then she squeezes it and it explodes.
I love it like crazy, lol.
i need to re-check that one… *need to e-order my glasses, i do!!!!*
If I were a writer I think the trait I’d most likely go “mary sue” on would they would all be readers and history nerds….just like me, LOL.
oh and Katiebabs…thats totally what it looks like.
You know, but I think that makes a lot of sense — in that “write what you know” way. I don’t think that just because there are similarities between a character/author that it’s automatically a Mary Sue thing — sometimes it just lends a sense of authority to everything.
It’s when there’s kind of an icky blurring of author/character that it is really a Mary Sue, IMO.
Hell, the first thing my character did, upon becoming a functioning sorceress was perform a makeover on herself! And then spends a fair amount of time trying to conjure wine and whiskey that taste right. Talk about wish fufillment!
Jealous that you get to go tonight, Jessa! Have fun for me…
I would TOTALLY do that, too. I’d probably pig out on carrot cake, and then zap my thighs into perfect shape.
But I think that also says something interesting about the character, when Mary Sues are so often uninteresting. Any character who feels the need to change herself has a reason and some insecurity — and she’d know that about herself. Whereas a Mary Sue has that perfection, and often a wide-eyed obliviousness to how she appears to others.
Oh, god, just talking about it makes me want to head over to fanfiction.net and start slapping some bitches.
Mary Sue – my heroines are all in absolutely perfect shape and, if I’m not, careful, they’re all black belts and capable of using weapons I’ve never heard of. Hmm – I wonder what characteristics I, myself, might be lacking…
POWELLS – in Beaverton -Tonight?! ARG! (I’m off to have an undoubtedly random conversation with hubby – “you want to drive how far to do what what now?”)
Ha! If you CAN make it, please do come up and say Hi (and let me know that you’re the Dawn from here.)
I’m okay with heroines who have perfect bodies, particularly if they have a reason for it. For example, anyone who can kick ass is probably in pretty good shape — and if they weren’t in good shape, I’d wonder exactly how they got their strength. So, you know, that perfect body thing gets an easy pass from me, particularly in the UF/PNR genre.
Couldn’t get the pass to come – hope it went well. I’ll keep an eye out for other Northern Oregon signings and try to come to the next one.
Hmmm.. interesting question. I guess my Mary Sue would be.. just how much crap can one character take before breaking? I mean, messed up parents or NO parents, broke, horrible disease or cursed (in the uf genre), all alone, physically tortured, maimed. What have you..
Everyone has a breaking point, whatever it is. Some people have a higher tolerance for pain and I assume it would be so for mental hard knocks, but there doesn’t seem to be a limit for the horrible things one endures in the books and they still manage to retain sanity and dignity. Unlike people from planet earth.
Torturing your characters to the breaking point? I just call that FUN.
But, seriously, that is always one of the things I try to do to my characters: Think of the absolute worst thing that could happen to them … and then do it.
Watching how they deal with it and recover is the best part — and if it makes me a little sadistic, so be it.
Oh my GOD! I totally forgot to link to the Mary Sue Litmus Test.
It’s actually hard NOT to get a Mary Sue, but it’s fun just reading the questions.
My Mary Sue would have near constant access to rich, full, dark and crazy good coffee. Great, quirky little coffee houses to go with. Mmm…coffee…
My current heroine is brilliant. No, I’m not bragging. I mean she’s super smart. No one can think outside the box like this gal. Unfortunately for her, that’s the only talent I gave her in this urban fantasy. And the trait I certainly don’t share. Her ratty jeans, holey t-shirt and pony tail I can relate to. Her brains, well let’s just say that sometimes I get lost on my way from the kitchen to the living room. I just hate it when I walk into a room and forget why I’m there. (Especially embarrassing at work.) *sigh*
My Mary Sue will always have amazing hair (blond or brunette doesn’t matter.) Even if her home has been wrecked by a hurricane, she’ll have “long, thick, and wet glossy strands slightly shading her eyes.” I don’t think think I’ve ever read a novel I like/love that has a heroine with crappy hair. She also doesn’t have small and silly accidents (tripping over the dog) unless the accident adds plot. While I don’t mind my heroines to be clumsy, I prefer balanced heroines. Last but not least, my Mary Sue will ALWAYS have perfect teeth. I cannot read or write about someone with crooked yellow teeth that has seventeen cavities.
Serena
I’m more likely to use Mary Sues as villains than as heroines, because they’re just so easy to hate.
That said, most heroines I write tend to have red hair. Or they are much snarkier and clever-er than anyone has a right to be with their comebacks.