Brain dead.
I’ve got a bit of a deadline. The problem with writing a lot of words consistently is that my brain loses the ability form coherent thoughts outside of the narrative. It’s almost as if a switch is pushed in my brain that says “output to page” and I’m pushing that switch so hard, it gets a bit stuck. Which results in my mumbling incoherent moans in response to simple questions and doing very odd things.
So, since I can’t come up with a topic, this might it, ladies and gentleman. Stupid stuff we do when we’re brain dead. I know I’m not alone in my insanity, because I’ve seen my mom once put the iron into the fridge and be puzzled about my laughing.
Here are my recent ones:
Fly lands on the computer screen. Frantically move the mouse , trying to rub the fly off the screen with the cursor.
Pour coffee into cat’s water dish.
Attempt to give a dog biscuit to the cats, while uttering, “good doggie gets a treat.”
Forget to pay the mortgage (first time in three years – fortunately it doesn’t get reported until 30 days past due)
Attempt to send files to a friend. Email files to myself twice. Inquire the friend if she got the files. When response is negative, email the file the third time but forget to attach it.
Go to kitchen for some jello and to warm up a cold cup of coffee. Take jello out of the fridge, put on the table. Put coffee into the fridge. Put jello into the microwave, push defrost 1 lbs. Ponder for a second. Realize that something WRONG has occurred. Take jello out. Look all over the kitchen for the coffee cup, search the living room, the dishwasher, the cabinets. Be upset because coffee cup is absent. Put jello back in the fridge, due to being too upset to eat it. Find coffee cup. Be upset some more.
Your turn.
This happened to me on a serious day-job deadline: http://irysangel.livejournal.com/509667.html
Oh my, Ilona! These are funny and yet must’ve given you (and your pets) some serious WTH moments.
Good luck with you deadline!
Thank you!
omg, ilona… we could so totally be related.
whenever I’m having my brain-dead-moments I managed to do the following things:
- came home from grocery shopping. Put the bread in the fridge and cheese and sausages in the bread box. fortunately I found out about the error BEFORE cheese and sausage started to smell bad.
- put pan on stove, because I want to boil pasta. Heat water, everything is normal. the water boils, I set the timer.
yep, forgot to throw in the pasta. I even stirred the EMPTY water for awhile before I figured out that, yes, there was something missing.
- nearly put cat litter box-sand into their dish. fortunately cat no. 3 gave me weird looks in time, so I caught myself in time
- put my glasses into the fridge. that has to be the weirdest thing that ever happened. h2b had a good laugh when he found them there.
LOL!
Waaaay back when my daughter was a baby my brother worked on fishing trawlers, so he would be out at sea for three weeks and come home for one week. He was 19 at the time so you can prob imagine what he got up to in that week.. anyway. He comes home with a friend of his and informs me he is taking my guy out for a guys only night out, so before they head off on their guys night out his friend hands me a bundle of money and says he doesn’t want to blow his paycheck and could I look after it for him, of course I say and wave them off. And then my very difficult baby starts screaming her head off, so away I go. Next thing its the following day and my bro’s friend very politely asks for his money. “Oh S$%t” I say, where did I put it After tearing the house apart and resigning myself to the fact I am going to have to pay back $5oo it occurred to me I was in the sunroom when they left so I went straight to the display cabinet and there it was $500 sitting in a vase, why I put it there I have no idea!
I would’ve lost it.
god i love you.
LOL I’ve done the fly/mouse thing repetedly…….even though it didn’t work the first time I still try it.
reading a text message i went to pick milk from fridge.
took the milk, leave the mobile in the milk place.
drunk the milk, and replace dit.
…
went mad for 2 hours searching the mobile.
i figured i had lost it in the bus the afternoon before.
Clearly we are twins
At least you have an excuse for the brain misfiring!
Doesn’t seem to be the case with me. I leave my keys in all sorts of odd places. The refrigerator, in the bathroom with the toiletries, the closet, the kitchen sink.
Oh and often times I forget that I switch my phone to “vibrate”… then stuff the phone in my jeans pocket, forget that it’s there so when it goes off, **BZZZZ** I jump & yell, startled out of my wits, and end up annoying & scaring the people around ME.
LOL. I love “the fly-mouse” one.
Once I was talking on the phone while stirring pasta. I sort of balance it between my shoulder and my head. It slipped in the pasta pot. I didn’t even realised and carried on talking. It survived boiling water but I can’t use * and 1 buttons for a long long time.
I’m doing that email-attachment thing all the time too.
Repeatingly asking husband where camera was when it was in its case slung over my shoulder.
The worst one I could think of was when I was at work and I had to call a company. They put me on hold forever and a day with no hold music (thank heavens for small favors). Anyway, I put them on speakerphone and went about doing my thing in the office…*ahem* – went to lunch. lol I had completely forgotten they were there, locked up my office and walked out. Thank heavens it was an 800 number!
I am always misplacing my glasses. I can not see without them so off I will go wandering aimlessly looking for them..until someone reminds that I have pushed them on top of my head.. again..
the worst time was when I tore the house apart, frantic to find my glasses – and they were on my face!
=A
Don’t that before.. many times lol
I’ve done that, too. And the common “walk through door, check hands for keys, notice they aren’t there, close door anyway, locking self out of the house.”
I do this with my sunglasses all the time. Dig through my purse frantically looking for them and realize they are on my face. Sigh.
I’ve gone to make myself a cup of tea, realized that the sugar bowl was about empty, and proceeded to pour the bag of sugar into my tea cup instead of sugar bowl.
I’ve searched frantically all over the house for a hair clip, only to slap myself upside the head because my hair was, in fact, already up.
Final exams my freshman year in college: I had 3×5 cards with all my study notes and flipped through them as I prepared for school — washed, dressed, ate breakfast. My (husband never said a word but I could feeling him watching my every move. It was driving me nuts. Finally he said, “I hope you pay better attention on your tests then you’re paying to what you’re doing.” I frostily assured him that whatever I had just done was precisely what I meant to do. He said — “Oh, really?” — and opened the cupboard to reveal the milk. The Cornflakes were in the refrigerator.
* Cereal routinely goes in the fridge, milk in the cabinet. (What is it with milk, anyway?)
* I forget to open doors, and crash into them (Shouldn’t that open all Star Trek-like?)
* The worst one, though? I temporarily lose NOUNS when stressed. It becomes Charades from Hell – I have to use adjectives to describe any object, rather than the word for it. There’s lots of pointing and grunting.
“* The worst one, though? I temporarily lose NOUNS when stressed. It becomes Charades from Hell – I have to use adjectives to describe any object, rather than the word for it. There’s lots of pointing and grunting.”
Oh, yes. I know all about that.
Oh god! This happens to me ALL THE TIME. Not just nouns, but words in general. Simple words that I use every day suddenly fly from my brain in a fit of pique.
Oh, thank goodness. I’m so glad to see it’s not just me. Alright, I don’t have the deadline excuse. I’m just easily addled.
Yeah, I’ve done the milk in the cabinet. Once did ice cream…not cool, at least not for long. I’ve put the phone in the fridge and the TV remote in the dishwasher. I often walk into a room and wonder why I’m there. I know I walked in there for something. If someone’s watching, I try to hide it by pretending to do housework until I remember.
The most annoying is when I need an aspirin and then can’t remember if I took it. I have to wait four hours before I can take a second dose. If it is a second dose. *sigh*
we call that “destinesia.” The only solution is to go back where you started from; for some reason, you’ll remember what you were looking for much faster.
Alternatively, I’ve discovered that if you call for the lost item like a pet, it helps keep you focused.
“Here, keys keys keys!” works great for me.
I lost my keys today. My Library card thingy is on them and I had some books in and hubby was going to town and I looked and looked and couldn’t find them anywhere.. My daughter gets home from school and I ask her if she has seen them and she arches one eye brow and says yeah they are in the front door…. oooopppps
once when me and a couple of friends were hanging out at my house watching TV and drinking i some how got the idea that threr was a straw in my cup (there wasn’t) and was trying to get the straw that didn’t exisist into my mouth well being comletly fixated on the TV, i kept trying this for about 5 minets until one of my friends aksed me what the h*** i was doing, my response
“im looking for my straw”
friends response
“you never had a straw”
everyone thought this was teriblly funny, but for me it was very embarissing
Rushing one morning and I poured water in my cereals instead of milk, awful taste let me tell you. I also found my scissors in the fridge didn’t know how long they had been in there.
Oh the stories I could tell. At one point I created a blog for my friends to read my brain dead moments. I called it the dumbing down of Mauri.
Things will always start off with me locking my keys in my car with or without the car running. But the absolute worst was at work when I was having a very mentally trying day. I brought a patient back for an exam and told him to take his pants off. He gave me this odd look, but I walked away. When I came back his pants were still on and the patient started laughing. I looked at my paperwork and realized he was there for me to examine his arms not his legs. He said he was flattered, but I really wanted to die right then. Good thing I am just a tech and not a doctor.
6:30 a.m.
3 in.s of snow and sub-freezing temp.s
truck running
everything: keys, wallet, cell;
all locked inside
=A
Heh, you know I love you.
So, I lose things all the time. A friend of mine even bought me a beeper thing to put on my keys because I’m famous for losing them. I also lose my glasses and paychecks and bills and stamps….yeah.
The other day at work, we were busy and I had to fax something. I didn’t want to mess up so I was sure to write the fax number on a seperate piece of paper. I fax the stuff and go back to my station where I’m answering phones and dealing with people when I realize I keep hearing a disconnect sound coming from my boss’ office where the fax machine is. I then realize that I’ve actually faxed to the phone number and someone keeps answering. Our fax tries to fax like 3 times before giving up and I can’t leave the person I’m helping to fix it. Finally, the other office calls our phone number to ask us to quit sending a fax to their phone number. And of course the office manager answered the phone when they called. I wanted the floor to swallow me right then and there. ::sigh::
Good luck with the deadline. You can do it!
today at work I found myself trying to unlock my office door using the remote for my car – stood there pointing the remote at the door and clicking
needless to say, it did not work
several years ago, I opened the refrigerator door to find the remote control on the shelf (my husband said “Oh! That’s where it went!” – as though it walked itself there looking for a Coke)
Brains are such funny things… good luck with the deadline!
I know this is late but…
Came home from work last week, with farmer’s market groceries in the car. Brought them inside and set them on the counter so I could put them in the fridge.
Went to the bathroom and turned on the shower. Got ready to get into the shower and realized my groceries were still on the kitchen counter.
Grabbed my robe, started putting up the groceries realized the water was still running. Closed the fridge went into the bathroom, put what was in my hand on the bathroom counter. Turned off the water. Went back into the kitchen finished putting away the food.
Could have sworn I had bought dutch apple pie, but couldn’t find it. Went back to the bathroom to turn the water back on and take my shower…wondered what this plastic grocery bag on my bathroom counter was. Found the apple pie. Went back into the kitchen and put that away then finally got my shower.
The next morning when cooking breakfast found my package of dried cherries sitting neatly in the fridge as well.
Was very tempted to go to bed and just try and start over the next day
<> I tend to lock up people… so they`ve to call (If they`re in the lucky position to have a handy/phone in the room.) me.
I haven’t done this yet, but my brother always puts the tv remote or his bedroom light remote in the freezer. His bedroom is on a different floor.
Mine is most often: remember something, run upstairs. Forget. Run back downstairs. Remember. Run back up. Forget. Run back down. Remember. Oh screw it!
Looking for my hair elastic, but it was actually on my wrist the whole time.. And I always always forget where I put my mobile phone..Sometimes I just leave it in the kitchen and I wonder where the hell it went.. haha
My mother constantly does this…
Get home, get out of the car and carry in what ever we just bought. She opens while I get most of the bags out of the car. She runs inside and puts her purse and runs back out to help me. We get everything inside and she runs to the bathroom. I go into the other room to chill out.
Mom- Honey, where are the keys?
Me- You have them don’t you?
Mom- No. that’s why I’m asking!
Me getting mad- Then how the h*** did
you unlock the door!
Mom- I had them a second ago!
Me walking into other room- Well, you unlocked the door I was getting the bags out of the car!
Me finally see mother w/ the door wide like she likes w/ keys still in it- The keys are in the door mom.
Mom turning around to stare at (evil, that’s what she calls it) door- Oooohhh, sorry sweetie.
Yea, she is one of the most forgetful mothers and she’s not even that old.
She opens the door while I…
Kind of confusing my writing is.
Lol i can totally relate to you guys!
Have managed to lock myself in my flat before now and had to phone my brother to get him to bring my spare set over to let me out as i’m on the second floor (he lives 30 mins away!). Also had one of those things on my keys that when you whistled beeped – guess what, the battery was flat!!!