The Sick Wishlist
No, no, no. This isn’t the post where I tell-all, spilling my dirty fantasies for your prurient enjoyment (or disgust.) This is about me. Dying. Slowly.
I am sick. I have been for a week. Blergh.
It began with my daughter. She got a fever last weekend. I stayed up all night taking care of her. She got better. The next day, I had a sore throat. Then the coughing. The nasal congestion. The headaches…but that was it. For a week, that’s been it.
And that really freaking ticks me off. A freaking week of this puny head cold that makes me feel like crap but doesn’t really do anything else? MY GOD! What kind of germs do they think they are?
Here’s what I want when I’m sick. I want vomiting, the Linda Blair in the Exorcist kind. You know why? Because every time I’ve been sick like that, I’ve puked … and then it’s over. None of this lingering on and on and on crap.
I want snot squirting out like lube from a karate-chopped tube of KY Jelly. Because then I can go to the doctor and he can give me junk that’ll clear it up. Not trying to stave it off with this weenie DayQuil (which STILL makes me drowsy!)
I want to be laid out in bed, shivering, crying, moaning, so that I don’t have to make freaking dinner anyway, or go get the groceries, or whatever, so that my husband will be sitting on a chair next to me patting down my head with a wet cloth or something. Instead he’s like, “Ew, don’t touch me with your germs” and the reason he makes his own lunch is so that he doesn’t get sick, too.
When I’m sick, I don’t want a slow gentle lovefest with my germs. I want to be taken hard and fast, flung to the floor and…
Oh, yeah. This wasn’t about my sick fantasies.
Aww. I am working, though. Gotta write a lurve scene.
So, tell me. How you feeling today?
Sorry you’re sick. Me too. The kids finally got me.
I just saw your post
That kind of bug’s the worst, isn’t it? In my house, we call them Mack Truck bugs, because they make you feel like you’ve been run over by (surprisingly enough, given the name) a Mack Truck. A big, big part of me feels for you.
(But a teensy, tiny part of me, the part that loves to whine about how much it sucks to suffer from chronic pain, is laughing its head off. “Feel my pain! Literally! Mwahahaha!” pretty much sums up what it’s saying right now.)
How I’m feeling? I finally got over my cold and am thrilled to be able to talk without feeling like I’m rubbing sandpaper against the back of my throat. I’m also pretty cheerful because I had a great cry last night and sorted some stuff out, yay! On the flip side, I now have one of those post-crying headaches that nothing but time can diminish. Well, chocolate can help, but I don’t have any of that. Yet.
*shakes fist*
Laugh it up! Laugh! Cold hearted snake.
…Oh, god, now I have that Paula Abdul song in my head. Why? WHY?
LET ME SHARE THAT PAIN:
LOL! Right, vomiting Linda Blair with KY snot – not anybody’s idea of top chef. Oh, I hope you feel better soon. Good luck with that luv scene.
Love scene didn’t happen. I switched to the steampunk, because I just wasn’t feeling it.
I feel just find, dang it. I have a test to work on: 2 questions, 8 pp. I’d really like an excuse to put it off….
(No! I didn’t mean that! Really!)
Guess I’d better get started. (sigh)
=A
Well, this is what we are here for — to help you procrastinate
Knock on wood, I’m feeling pretty good this morning. The kids 1,2 & 3 have managed to start off the fall season with only one puking incident, no snot, and a very minor itchy/throat clearing kind of thing. I know I’m about to jinx myself, but that is a pretty darn good start! I hope the rest of the winter goes just as cold drama free. Oldest Kid’s school buddies have been staying home sick, week long fever with nothing else. Youngest is teething though, and I’m not getting any sleep. Ugh. But that is my allotted complaining for the day! It is Friday, and I’m only working a half day. WOOOOHOOOO!
I’m hoping that this awful beginning to our winter means that it’ll be done with. I’m used to getting sick when the seasons change … it just doesn’t hang on like this.
Congrats on the half-day! I hope you used it wisely
The Exorcist gives me nightmares. *shudder* I HATE PUKING! bleck bleck.
I LOVE PUKING!
…okay, not really. But that was the only possible response
I can’t claim to be physically sick (mentally though, that’s another story, hah!). I *almost* wish I was. You eventually get over that. See, I was trying to cheer you up. You get better,*eventually*.
Can I claim mental fatigue and stress? I found out I have a LOT more trips to the dentist in the future for them to do fun procedures. Root canal anyone? I hate the dentist. I sit in the chair shaking, sweating, clammy. It’s bad. Xanax and valium don’t help really but, give me the case of “I want to sleep 5 extra hours during the day”.
Eek. I need to schedule both dentist and eye doctor stuff soon. I’m late for both, so I’m sure there’s drilling in my future (hopefully not in my eyes, though.)
I have had just such a cold for TWO WEEKS! I am so tired of it! The weather was gorgeous last weekend and will be this weekend, and I’m too cold-addled to enjoy it.
I guess that is the upside — the weather here is really crappy, so I’m not missing anything.
Um, not that I ever go out into the sunlight anyway … as my picture makes obvious.
Oy – feel better. I *hate* that.
I’m having a kidney stone today, so I feel a bit like laying on the floor and moaning. With a touch of crying.
Waaahhhh! Poooooooor us!
lol! I know! WAH!
But, okay, a kidney stone is a billion times worse than a cold. At least when I blow my nose a hard stone doesn’t come out my … well… yeah.
I agree with you that the best way to be sick is all out, puke your guts, take a little nap, and wake totally refreshed!! I haven’t been physically sick in awhile (knock on wood), but I’ve had a very stress filled week. Too bad puking can’t cure stres….
Ha! If it could, I’d be de-stressed (and really skinny.)
I’m an elementary school teacher and I haven’t- knock on every piece of wood I see- been sick in 2 years. I must have developed an iron immune system. I hope.
This is a teacher workshop day, so one of my chores is to disinfect as many surfaces as I can reach!
My husband is a teacher, too, and I don’t know how he’s escaped both my daughter, me, and half the kids in school being sick.
It was bad enough in the school district that they had to cancel the football games last week — too many players were out sick.
Ha ha ! I’m not sick! Neener neener neener…
(Of course, now that I’ve done that, this guarantees I will come down with the death flu.)
oh, that was just evil *glares*
Yes. Yes it was.
I so know what you’re talking about. just got myself a lovely cold again.
I hate it when you’re sick enough to feel like shit, but it’s not going anywhere from that point on.
stuffy nose, sneezing, tired, head-ache and it just stays and sits there and refuses to move for only one inch.
argh.
Yes. Not sick enough to have an excuse not to do the stuff you hate (chores, shopping, and so on) but just sick enough that doing each makes you miserable. Blegh.
drove to the pharmacy and got me a wonderful assortment of drugs. let’s hope they’ll work.
hope you get better soon, too.
I came down with the same cold last Friday. Had a sinus headache that no drugs would touch for 4 flippin’ days. I’m down to the snuffy head and lingering cough now. Yeah, colds like this suck big hairy goat butts.
Get well soon!
LOL!
Yes they do.
And now I’m totally blaming this cold on you
I caught it over the internet!
Nope. You can only catch a virus through the internet and I have a cold (no fever). The only sickness I can spread is of the mind.
Sorry to hear you’re sick Meljean. Those kids and their bugs will get you every time (It’s a world wide conspiracy thing). They’re just walking petri dishes!
Oh, they are! And no matter how much sanitizer, how many times you wash hands, they get you.
I want snot squirting out like lube from a karate-chopped tube of KY Jelly.
OMG! The visual, Meljean!
Hugs!!! I hope you feel better soon.
Patrice *sprays the screen with Lysol just in case there’s something to the whole viral web thing*
LOL! I know. All over Twitter, everyone else is mentioning the same kind of thing going around. And I’m just like *back away slowly washing hands…*
I completely agree with you. I’ve had this lingering cold thing, too. It makes me just tired and sick enough to be grumpy and make it hard to deal with kids and work and life, but not sick enough to just lie in bed and make people take care of me. I want that sickness and then I want it to be OVER.
Here’s hoping you feel better soon, or start puking and shivering and then feel better
Haha, thank you! Here’s to puking
I hate getting sick like that. Not enough to matter, just enough to annoy.
I haven’t gotten sick yet..*searches for some wood to knock on*…but its only a matter of time.
It’s like the Steve Urkel of sicknesses.
I’m in Australia, and we’re just coming into summer here in Bathurst – finally! – so I’m hoping to be well for at least, oh, another three months. The winter bugs and stuff for me have been incredibly dreadful. Sick two or three weeks out of ever four. I mean really, there’s no call for that kind of thing.
All I can say for now is – thank god we’ve got the warm weather now!