Family
I think it’s interesting that a lot of times in urban fantasy, paranormal, and mystery books, the protagonist has no family. He or she might have a father or mother who just might be the Big Bad Evil (cough, pot kettle cough, cough), but in general our poor protag is all alone.
This is done on purpose to isolate the protagonist. Family provides a support network and shelter. Family might not like you, but they will help you anyway. Our portag’s life is that much harder because he doesn’t have one.
If you watch anime, you can see a similar phenomenon: a child or young adult protagonist who is orphaned. Losing parents is one of the most horrible things that can happen to a child. A lot of times, anime protagonists only lose one parent, which gives the author a sense of abandonment and creates instant parenting issues: two conflicts for the price of one, kismet.
However, I do believe that robbing protagonist of family is sometimes detrimental to the narrative. I think having family sometimes presents a lovely opportunity to ratchet up tension. In support of my case, I present you with Alexander Nikolaevich Poltavtsev (who called me, by the way, instead of the other way around as usual.)
Please take into the account that I have been completely on my own financially and otherwise since I was sixteen years old and haven’t seen my dad for about eighteen years. Inner thoughts are in italics.
ANP: Hello, Ilona.
Me: Oh God. Hi dad!
ANP: How are you doing?
Me: Fine, fine.
ANP: Have you moved over to Canada yet?
Me: It’s a long process, dad. It might take about a year…
ANP: Have you put the house in the market?
Me:… Uh, well, the house needed some repairs, so we figured we’d do it after the New Year. Because of the floods, the fence rotted away and needed to be replaced…
ANP: What, Gordon could not make the fence??
Me: Well, Gordon could’ve made the fence, but it would’ve taken him a couple of weeks and we have large dogs, so you know what Gordon found a fence company and they replaced the damn fence in 24 hours. He took care of it.
ANP: Has he found a job yet?
It must be said, that my family takes jobs seriously. My greatgrandad died at the ripe age of 94 after catching a cold while he was fixing the roof of his house. My grandad worked until the cancer killed him. My dad, being almost 60 , is running computer maintenance for a bread factory. No matter how many times I explain that writing is a job and we both do it, it doesn’t compute, because it’s not a “real” job. Me as a writer he can sort of picture, but with Gordon it’s a no go. Because Gordon happens to be male.
ANP: So did he find a job.
Me: Dad, he writes. He doesn’t need a job…
ANP: WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE DOESN’T NEED A JOB? A MAN HAS TO HAVE A JOB! THAT’S WHAT A MAN IS! A MAN HAS TO BE A MAN AT HIS JOB, FIRST OF ALL, AND THEN HE HAS TO BE A MAN WITH HIS WIFE…
Me: holding the phone from my ear. 1….2…..3….4…
ANP: Thunder, lightning! Russian yelling, Michal Bay Explosions, more instructions on how to be a man.
Me: 7… 8….
ANP: pause
Me: Dad, we make more writing than we did at our day jobs. A job is what pays the bills. For now that’s how we pay the bills and it would be counterproductive for one of us to get a day job, unless it came with great health benefits. If the situation changes, you will be the first to know.
ANP: Well, that’s good.
Me: Phew. Well, I’m glad that we have that settled…
ANP: When are you going back to school to get a degree?
I swear to you, the next UF I write is going to have a protagonist surrounded by family. I shouldn’t have to go through this alone. 
Just wait, Dad. I will put you in a book and send it to you gift-wrapped. Muhahahahahaha!
I know he’s worried and he feels like he hasn’t gotten to help, but I swear no matter how old I’ll get, he still makes me feel like I am ten.
How about your family? Anybody drives you mad with too much TLC?
I think family could also be used as great comic relief! Crazy cousins, eccentric brothers, embarrasing fathers, all kinds of fun!
Exactly!
Now you’re making me feel lonely and missing my family.
How do you know if you are loved when nobody nags you?
Ah family. They make you what you are (and you can’t get a refund).
Wait, hold up! You’re moving up here to Canada? Very cool. Where?
I am hoping to go to New Brunswick or Nova Scottia, but right now I am waving money before an immigration lawyer so he would get my stuff together. So far, no dice, but if it doesn’t work out, I’ll get a different firm.
Great places both (though you may find the everyday taxes a shock). Was born in Nova Scotia. if you are heading to that area, but still want to live somethere sufficiently far from the madding crowd I’d suggest somewhere like Yarmouth. Small town, very friendly, close to ferry to US.
Good luck with it all, and welcome to Canada (if you can make it!)
I have been so incredibly blessed with the family I got. My parents are both one of 7 kids, and my dad’s family is closer to one another than any other family I have ever met. I get my doses of family crazy from the hubby’s family. CRAZY doesn’t even begin to describe them…. oh I could write a whole encyclopedia of crap they put themselves and loved ones through.
At least I have MY family to keep me sane!
i can honestly say that i do not have that problem. but then i put that down from being a biting slavering demonchild.
I come from a family of 8, who come from large families. We’re farmers and engineers and universally nutty and nosy. It can be both very cool and a little on the crazifying side!
Oh my mom drives me crazy (doing my laundry when she visits and I SPECIFICALLY TOLD HER NOT TO) and *hinting* that I should eat better, and a proper wife cooks and doesn’t let the husband do it etc. Then there’s the chinese superstitions and talk of ghosts and bad luck. I could go on.
But then she also has her moments like the other week where she said plaintively, “Every one of my kids is a catch. A person is very lucky to be with one of them. It makes me very sad if they don’t get treated properly.” She’s always on our side, for sure.
Ok, I have to stand up for the crazy parents who worry. You do know that we want the very best for you, hoping we have done all we could to prepare you for life’s ups & downs. I do drive my daughters crazy but they know I love them to death. I do try to restrict my worrying but it is always there.
We would do all we could to make your life the very best.
I know. But I am allowed to whine.
The scary thing about being a parent is that, if you do your job right and teach your kids to be responsible and think for themselves, eventually they do. I know very well my folks have lost a lot of sleep over the decisions my sibs and I have made in life, and I’m very proud of their courage and self-restraint in NOT trying to nudge us in the right direction any more than they do.
My hat is off to those of you who are walking that line with your children. I don’t have the courage to try it, myself.
=A
I have someone that drives me batty, but I don’t know if I’d call it TLC……
I love that Kate is a loner, but I also love that you had Rose have family to deal with in good and bad ways in On the Edge.
I agree, it can definitely add tension…
I am the one that everyone says ” You know how Jen is….”
hehe. I especially love the explosions and the mental countdown.
I need mental countdowns frequently when I’m talking to my mother. but I still love her
family can be complicated. and you wrote a protagonist with family. rose… well, two brothers and grandma. and declan. let’s not forget about declan’s family *snickers*
I used to get that a lot from my folks. Esp. when I quit a perfectly good job to go back to school. Again. But recently they’ve discovered they can tell total strangers where their daughter works/studies and it’s instantly recognized, so I guess my decision has gained some legitimacy.
=A
There’s noone that can make you happier or more miserable. Especially if you’re the odd man out in your family. (Black sheep, what have you)
My family is a little strange and as a young person/teenager that absolutely horrified me, now I’ve learned to embrace it and be thankful of what I have (and that many people don’t). So again, they were right.. time/age/distance = perspective. dammit!
Ah! My mother died when I was three. My older sister decided to be my mommy — and she still is. I am 50. The last time I was home she fixed my plate, cut my steak into little bites and called me “baby” and my 28 year old niece about died of laughter.
Having said that, I am leaving Hawaii and moving closer to home, why?
Sounds like a conversation I had with my Dad but mine was about my car. I was all prepared to put my car in for a service at my mechanics (which my dad recommended btw) when dad says(he used to be a mechanic) why don’t we buy the parts and Aaron can do the work while I supervise. “oh God” I’m thinking, “Aarons going to love that”. So I say to dad He’s been working 6-7 days a week for a while now, so I don’t know when he will get a day off Inwardly I’m thinking, “Aarons is not going to want to spend one of his few days off fixing the car with you over his shoulder making helpful suggestions” Then my dad went on about MONEY how much we will save and how close it is until Xmas blah, blah. So I tell him politely but firmly that I would prefer to just put it in at the mechanics and get it over with. That earn t me a glare and a grumble. I love my dad I really do but he thinks it should be his way all the time and we should all just fall into line, it drives our family crazy..
And that’s the thing about family…they might drive you crazy but you can’t tell them to go away, ‘cuz…they mean well and because well, they’re FAMILY!
I just have to say I love your Dads name! Russian names just sound so big and impressive. Like they have some “heft” to them, ya know?
My family, I have since learnt after leaving home, is insanely ‘normal’. I had always thought when I was younger that they were crazy phycotics, but now, after getting out in the Big Wide World for a bit, I’ve realised how lucky I have it. Mum and Dad love me to pieces, and they support me no matter what I do. I have a little brother and sister, 10 and 9 years younger than me respectively, and they can be a bit…testy…at times, but overall, I’m very, very lucky.
We have a rule, no family can live closer to us than 3 hours drive. It’s better than it used to be, used to be at least a state away LOL Part of the problem is I have no ability with information screens and my husband’s family can’t function without them. You can tell “this” to X & Y but for god sake, don’t tell Z. Inevitably the forbidden info would be the first thing out of my mouth when I saw Z. WAY too much stress.
You know, as an only child with parents who died fairly young (Dad when I was 12, Mom when I was 24) I have a much easier time relating to heroines and heroes who are “la, so all alone.” It’s amazing how fast you get used to not being accountable to anyone else for what you do with your time and your life.
That said, when they were alive, we didn’t have much family drama. It’s fun to read about, but I truly can’t relate.
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I am a member of a large family. There’s a lot of security in that. Yeah, there are a lot of nuts laying around that tree, but it just makes life interesting.
I am one of the youngest, and I had a child at 40. A child. I really worry about him because chances are, he won’t have any close living relatives by the time he is in his 30′s. I just really can’t imagine not being able to call someone who remembers what growing up in your family was like.
Your family is like your fellow time travelers, if that makes sense.