Where In the World is Meljean Brook?
Winner: The random number generator has run and the winner is….MISTI P. who thinks Meljean is most likely riding a camel across the Gobi desert! Email will be on the way to you shortly.
This was a fun contest everyone – thanks for your awesome comments!
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I’m filling in for Meljean today. I thought we should make fun of her as she isn’t here to stop us as is grand tradition on Oddshots.
But…
You knew there was a but didn’t you?
While Meljean has glorious photoshop talent and can make Book PoRn, I have no skills in that department, so here’s what we’re going to do.
Have a contest!
To enter, leave a comment telling me where you think Meljean is today, and what she’s doing (the crazier the better…not that I’m enabling any of you 
). Do this before six p.m. Sunday 31st Jan 2010, New Zealand time. I’ll pick a random winner and edit this post to include their name.
And what will you win? I’ll let the winner choose a copy of any one book of mine published pre-2010 so long as I have a copy of it, so go to it! Link to Books page of my website.
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p.s. A
rchangel’s Kiss is out Tuesday, Feb 2nd!! Woohoo!! It’s awesome. Go buy it!! <– I iz subtle.
Excerpt Link and excerpt link for the first book, Angels’ Blood (this series should definitely be read in order).
She’s probably out burning fat in a pole dancing class, who knows lol
I heard today was Meljeans day to visit the dentist and her lawyer. Quite obviously that puts her in the innermost rings of hell. While she’s there an incredibly hot stud will offer to massage her tension away only to morph into Toad from the Wind in the Willows and give her warts. Check next time you see her and you’ll see I’m right!
Meljean is busy whipping her slaves into doing her housework, cooking for her and doing her laundry. Later on she is having a massage given by three oiled Adonises. Tonight she will dine alone.
But who is she going to dine on?
Yes where can Meljean be,when I consider her talent for bookpron, then I am sure she is in her basement making something new, like clothes PoRn
It is getting real steamy there
Meljean is a lazy sod! I can see her now … lazing in the fountain in Caelum, using a stray guardian’s feather as a swizzle stick as she sips her her icy mango daiquiri while a strangely subservient Michael waits on her hand and foot. The only reason why I don’t hate her is I’m sure she’s contemplating what further mayhem she can deliver to the Guardians LOL!
(Actually Nalini I have a full set of your books – plus spares for when the spines wear out from all my re-reading! – so take me out of the competition – this was just such a fun idea I couldn’t resist joining in *grin*)
She is wrestling with a grisly bear, trying to get out to the cable technician guy who is supposed to be fixing her internet, who went missing a couple of days ago. She’d rather wrestle the bear than sit in a Starbucks, listening to that awful music, for their free wifi any longer. Plus with all the coffee from Starbucks, that bear doesn’t stand a chance.
Jedi Master Class Day!
The topic of today lesson is going to be Jedi Tantric Smex
And if the lesson is boring there’s always the possibility to take a good look to the awesome Jedi males and enjoy corrupting them!!!!
Diving into an ice cold Antarctica sea, studying the wildlife inhabitants whilst being circled overhead by Guardians and surrounded by penguins. Next? – Being flown through the sky so she can lounge upon some clouds drinking some concoction that makes her go giddy with laughter.
Probably reading all the comments to this post
If it’s as cold where she is, as where I am… I’ll share my books, my fireplace (after I nag the man to clean out around the damper so I don’t smoke up the house… been there… done that)… pass the coffee… it’s still before 9am here…
S.
Meljean is currently locked in an intense and bloody battle with the forces of Darkness, heroically fighting her way to the centre of the fiery volcano in heart of the Evil Overlord’s lair, aided only her trusty animal companion Timothy, and an imitation samurai sword that she picked up for $9.95 in Wal Mart the other day. There she seeks, like so many who have tried and failed before her, to free the pure and studly virgin prince, to defeat the evil Overlord, free the aforementioned studly prince and claim his hand (and all that’s attached to it) in marriage and rule the many kingdoms as queen with him at her side.
Isn’t this the week she went to Bhutan to help artificially inseminate pygmy hogs to try and get them off the endangered species list? She’s quite the humanitarian.
I heard she was coming out to play with me, bringing her dollies three, climbing up my apple tree, sliding down my rainbow, into my cellar door, where we’ll be jolly friends, forever more, more, more.
I have it on good authority from the Tooth Fairy that Meljean is in the woods searching for the portal back home. The sprites are still laughing about that twisted map they gave her.
Meljean is sky-diving with a parachute – and nothing else. Talk about streaking…..
I heard she took a flight with a blue angel name Illium, since blue is here favorite color and all. I think they plan on visiting some crazy author in NZ that writes about all the inner secrets of the Angel world revealing all their taboo’s – thats the rumor floating around the twitterverse!
She’s off, on a wild hair, to beget inspiration. From Area 51. *shrug* Not only does she have an affinity for zombies, she also shares that affection with aliens and conspiracy theories. She’s out in the trenches, in no man’s land, equipped with night vision goggles, metal detectors and special electronic equipment that enables her to eavesdrop on some super secret conversations. Move out of the way, NSA, you have absolutely nothing on Meljean Brook, when she she has a bee in her bonnet!!
Hmmm…
Well, here in the NorthWest we actually saw the sun briefly. At least I think that is what caused that blinding light in the blue (?! what happened to grey) sky.
That light has caused all sorts of craziness, like, well, leaving the house.
I believe that Meljean was so entranced by the unexpected sunlight that she *gasp* went outside, where she is dancing in the street with other dazzled denizens of the grey zone.
It will wear off soon and she’ll be back to the grindstone – getting all of her daily UV needs from her computer monitor. Go team pale!
According to my spies, one lonely Demon Night not too long ago, Meljean posted a personal ad for a lover. Her only requirement was that he Must Love Hellhounds. I understand she found her Demon Angel and is in for a Hot Spell. They are out doing the Wild Thing beneath a Demon Moon. She has taken her velvet ropes in hopes of being Demon Bound, and — if she can draw First Blood — getting Demon Forged.
I saw her camped outside a Barnes & Noble, waiting for the release of Archangel’s Kiss. Not that I don’t totally understand her desire, but…it’s cold out! She’s probably all kinds of frostbitten by now, which is a shame, because she could’ve gone to Books-A-Million instead where they already have Archangel’s Kiss out on the shelves. Poor Meljean…hopefully she’ll thaw out by April.
I’m betting she’s off at a super-secret meeting with her generals to begin the final preparations before launching her nefarious scheme TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD! MUAHAHAHA!
meljean is in china visiting the forbidden city and taking a whole lot of touristy pictures with dragons making the “V”/peace sign with her fingers.
I hope she realizes what that means in China
These comments are cracking me up. More, more!!
What are you standing around for? Didnt you get the message? Meljean slipped and fell getting out of the hot tub while doing an undercover assignment from the deliciously thexy Mr. Bond…..She is now being held captive by the ebil ebil Mistress Cummings O.o
I thought she was taking flying lessons so that she could add even more realistic details about sky travel from a Guardian’s POV as they’re swooping around.
I think Meljean just took the day off to do some “research” (hint, hint, nudge, nudge, wink, wink) for her newest super smexy book. Did you really think she came up with all those sexy scenes by herself? I think not..
Meljean is with me and my Tomcat Blade showing us how the Demon Kitty of Badness came about and keeping warm here in Texas where it is currently a balmy 45 degrees with a wind chill of 32. We are taking a Polar Bear Dip in the Barton Springs pool today in Austin Texas with all the young UT studs, you all are invited if you want to come with us later!!!!!!!
jackie b central texas
Meljean didn’t have any plans today until a great black dragon swooped out of the sky and snatched her away in his talons. The dragon was doing the bidding of the evil, yet preternaturally smoking hot, Balthazar DiLorenzo who fell in love with her above mentioned pole dancing skills.
Now, Meljean is secluded away in his private castle, guarded by six mages and an ogre, forced to dance all day for Balthazar.
Hidden away in her room, obsessively snapping more pics of book PoRn (we know its addicting, honey. We’ll get you the help you need….)
Meljean was photochopping yet another bookcover, when the spiders in her house kidnapped her, carried her off to Europe and buried her under the snow. She´s now busy thinking hot thoughts to melt the snow away and freeing herself.
I´m sure she´ll be back shortly with bug spray, wet hair and an awesome revenge plan.
The men in the white coats came and took her away….
Pity the men in the white coats are now red as she had the raggies and we all know not to F*** with a woman on the edge!!
Even now as we speak, Meljean has crossed universes and is wading thigh-deep in turtle spit in Atlanta on the way to consult the Oracles about — oh, wait: if I tell you I’d have to kill you.
Meljean is out spending the day playing with wild tiger cubs. They are all active and loveable.
Saving the world from some horrendous scourge or another. Finishing her final exam for the super-secret group of intrepid space warriors who will be defending the Earth from the imminent invasion (what? You didn’t hear about that?). Discovering the ancient and previously lost cure for the hiccups. And finally, she’s got an appointment for a mani-pedi at the shop down the street. They do a fine job, especially with those cute little ninja stars on her thumbs.
Meljean is currently in front of her computer, fustrated, because her characters have rebelled. In their rebellion, the characters have completely changed the storyline and switched the heroine. At the moment, she is trying avoid being ambushed by said characters since she just deleted the part where everybody goes swimming in chocolate.
After she had another coffee at Starbucks Meljean recieved a strange phone call.
“Good day young Lady. Please do as you are told and don’t try anything stupid we are watching you. Now look under your cup and take the key you will find there – good girl… Take a taxi to the aiport where you will find your ticket and more information as well as you next orders in locker number 96.”
Judging by the sound of the voice, wich was verry deep a bit husky and had a strange hungry note, the caller probably was male. ‘I’ll name him Amadain for now’ she thought. Not sure whether to be curious or afraid Meljean put the key in her pocket, threw away the paper cup and took a quick glance round the room but couldn’t identify anyone as ‘Amadain’. She hesitated but then decided to do as she had been told. In the locker she found a first class ticket for a flight to Prague and a letter wich confirmed that a suite at the Crowne Plaza Prague Castle was booked for a certain Lady B. for the weekend. But she also found an envelope with pictures:
- a Ken doll with a lot of blood around it and a little stick in its chest
- a dead rat with tiny teethmarks
- some more dead rats similar to the other one
- a dead pigeon with tiny teethmarks
- another Ken doll with a stick through its chest
- 3 or 4: old door with some strange dots on it near the floor
- closeup on the door wich reveals that the dots are bloodstains in the shape of tiny hands
When she arrived in Prague it was already past sunset and it was snowing a little bit. After she got another call from ‘Amadain’ who told her to wait for her escort, two men in black coats welcomed her silently and saw her to a waiting SUV. About 20 minutes later Meljean arrived at the Crowne Plaza Prague Castle. Luckily everything has already been aranged for her and she doesn’t need to deal with all thos check in formalities for when she arrives it’s about half past 10 pm and check in time is at 2 pm.
Now she sits on her bed in that suite and yawns and if I’m not completely mistaken she’ll get the next phonecall in about 4 minutes – at ten past 11 pm…
So maybe tomorrow I can tell you more…
Got new information:
As you might already have guessed it was ‘Amadain’ at the phone again… He refused to tell Meljean his real name, so she still secretly calls him that. He asked her to go to bed because she’ll have to get up at 7am – so only about 7 hours left to find some sleep – and told her that her suite has guardians so she’d be safe and ‘it’ won’t be able to come after her this night.
Next update:
Needles to say that Meljean was still in bed when it was already past 7 am, so when she got her next call she was sleepily climbing out of the bed to stop her mobile phone from ringing again. “Hmmm?” she answered the call and yawned. When she looked through the window she could see that the sun was rising and made all the snow look like glistening gold dust, while she listened to ‘Amadain’s’ voice who told her a lot of things she was supposed to do during the day (half of them she had already forgotten before he said good bye). What she did remember was that she should have a very thorough look at Prague Castle and she had to come to a meeting at 5pm (which would be just after sunset so he had said) – oh,… of course he would call her about ten minutes before that to tell her what she should bring with her and where to go.
Ooh! I recently read Archangel’s Blood… so I would absolutely love to get a chance to read some of your other books.
I think Meljean is coming up with a few more positions for her Book Porn post. LOL! No, really I think she is hibernating or she is sipping a margarita on an exotic island.
right this second?… she is hiding in a piano* being very very quiet.
this is because there is something looking for her…
A great big grizzly growling ferociously hungry BEAST! It wants to eat her brains because this year she was a bad bad girl and didnt eat her crusts, so santa got angry and only gave her coal. He got more angry when she said “pah! I eat coal for breakfast!” because he feels we should respect him more. Thus he sent this BEAST to get her, and it’s taken him this long to track her down…
* a grand piano. what other kind of piano did you think you could get a person into? honestly
I think she flew to the APPLE home office to explain to them that the IPAD is a stupid name for their new product. Soon they will be making a smaller version called the IPON and if you want the red one it’s called an IMINIPAD. She has to set them straight so she will be gone a few days due to the fact these are men we are talking about.
she is relaxing on teh beach with a cabana boy with nice cool drinks
Meljean is out at a Boon P0rn convention, where you can find a lot a new ideas for photoshop projects o.0
Meljean is out at a Book P0rn convention, where you can find a lot a new ideas for photoshop projects o.0
Sorry for the double post! There was a typo in the first one =(
MelJean’s day began with caffeine. She sent her family off with loving words and hugs. Behind the closed door, she double-checked the items needed to complete her assignment for the day: duct-tape, chocolate, a screw driver, red dice, a pencil, and fishing line. Then she was gone.
*wiggles evil lil eyebrows* Oh I know where MelJean is. She’s at my house learnin how to make my evily delish gutter cookies with homemade smut sprinkles! Then later she’s goin to her *Le Dominatrix* class for beginners, and finally she has a fittin’ for her new scarlet red full body leather body suite!!! Or was that a fittin’ for her brand spankin new halo? *taps chin* Hmmm, just can’t remember on that last one.
OOps put to many bodies in there ….. that’s what she said!!! Bwahahahahasnort, couldn’t resist, MelJean made me do it.
Meljean was mesmerized by the sundogs, bright rainbow angel wings of distant ice particles at 10 o’clock and 2 o’clock in the cold grey sky. Snowflakes started to fall but the cat asked to go for a walk, so they are now out checking his messages.
Meljean is most likely driving along some road in Washington State, on a road trip to Forks were she can collect very random Twilight memorabilia because that stuff is everywhere, and taking pictures with all the historical sites that area has to offer.
She joined a punk rock band and is getting her hair cut short, dyed and gelled all to heck. Then she had to go shopping for some of the weirdest looking leather clothes to fit in with the punk scene. She’ll be back once her transformation is complete.
I think that shes researching, at a tatoo place and is thinking about getting a tatoo, if not a piercing. After she’s done there she will be going to her pole dancing and belly dancing classes so she can entertain her sweetheart on Valentines day. And she finished her day with following a rainbow to a magical world filled with creatures to write about in upcoming books. Yeah for us!
Tangling with the tigers of southeast Asia, of course; her pet Komodo dragon watches, bored and yawning, from the safety of her perch. After she’s established her dominion, an unblended margarita (extra salt) will appear in Meljean’s hand, which she will sip while gazing across the land in satisfaction. Somehow, she will spin us a tale from this.